Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
