Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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