You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
