I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
