I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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