how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
