I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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