I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
whose ass print is on the piano?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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