Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He felt like a one man threesome
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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