Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
