4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
