Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
