you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
