You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
