Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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