I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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