I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
