my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
