We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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