Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
