just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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