Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
