Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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