So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
