Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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