Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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