Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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