So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
