i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
