she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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