Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need a burrito and a hug.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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