I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
