i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
