are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
