3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
