margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
