Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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