She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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