There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
