Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
