you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
