You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
