your parents love me but you hate me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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