Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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