butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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