Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
