He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
