I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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