His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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