...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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